5) “I see that Mark Sanford is running for office again. You know, Mark is so committed to outsourcing that he shipped his wife’s job overseas.”
4) “People say both Obama and I have trouble laughing at ourselves. We can’t laugh at ourselves. That would be racist!”
3) “The honest truth is, I am too skinny to be President of the United States. That’s what my friend Chris Christie tells that all the time.”
2) “It’s great to see new Senator from Massachusetts, Elizabeth Warren. My staff tells me we have a lot in common. From one Indian to another, I want to wish her the best.”
1) “I told the President, I want to be clear, I have no plans to run for President. I mean come on, what chance does a a skinny guy with a dark complexion and funny name have to run for President of the United States?